Zero Male Suicide. (Part One)

Happy International Men's Day once again.

The theme for this year's commemoration is "Zero Male Suicide." I can hear some ignoramus already picking a fight with that. They are wondering why it should not have been "Zero Suicide." Why the focus on men? they ask. Why not? I ask in return. 'Tis our day after all. The focus on men does not negate the other gender. It is simply for the purpose of dealing with the specific nature of gender issues.

That brings to mind another set of ignoramuses, who supposed we are all wired the same. How so dumb? Yes, we are all the same at the human level, yet there are differences at the gender level. A man is a man and is so wired. Yes, first as a human, then as a man. In his humanity, he is the same as the woman. In his masculinity, he is different from a woman. Just as a woman in her femininity is different from a man.

How difficult is it to understand this? It sure takes a whole lot of effort to misrepresent this. Only those seeking some strange untoward agenda try to confuse this erstwhile clarity. He who created them, created them different in gender, but similar in humanity. The hormones that produce the differentiating physiologies in both act differently and not only affect the physiologies but also the psychologies.

Now this is getting long. And, I don't like long. I am going to break this down into manageable chunks. Will continue tomorrow. That will give me the opportunity to celebrate men, not only today but the whole week.

Happy International Men's Day, and for us here, Week.

The Saint.

#zeromensuicide #happyinternationalmensday

Link to Similar Articles:
To The Singles With Love: Be Humble (Part Two): Locus of Control.

The Big Five Personality Traits (Part Four): Neuroticism.

When Mrs. Strangeness is Married to Mr. Niceness: (Part One)

I Got This.

Imagination is Limitless (6/6).

"All the breaks you need in life wait within your imagination, Imagination is the workshop of your mind, capable of turning mind energy into accomplishment and wealth." (Napoleon Hill) This is a power harnessed by peak performers in various fields. They perform a mental rehearsal before the actual performance. Hence, the whole of their being is awakened, alert, and ready to produce the result they seek. The mental rehearsal is a kind of first creation. Here things are fine-tuned and perfected with sweat rather than blood.

"Imagination is the highest kite one can fly." (Lauren Bacali) The mental pictures can be pictures of past real successes, and/or the creation of that which is desired in the present, or future. The key thing is the creation of the desired result, including the state, confidence, and disposition towards its execution. It is taking charge and control of one’s mental pictures to one’s defined end. “Through imagination, we can visualize the uncreated worlds of potential that lie within us.” (Dr. Stephen R. Covey)

Remember, the subconscious mind cannot differentiate between what is real and what is fictional. It does not segregate between that which is constructive and that which is destructive. It will work with whatever raw material you feed it. It will either produce life or death. The onus is on you to feed it according to your desired end. "Thinking is the father of creation" (Earl Nightingale) You can creation the world you desire. You can create the world you want. Never ever forget, you are a creator.

© 2016 Akin Akinbodunse.

Link to Series:

The Power of Visualization (Part Four): Harnessing the Subconscious Mind.

You Are Not A Prisoner (5/6).

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2C/25). Part C.

Introduction:

This is the second of the "25 Ways To Improve Your Self Confidence (Drastically!)." It is rather long. So as not to bore anyone, I have chosen to break it into three (3) parts. Here we go with Part C.

Talk to Yourself:

"Preparation is the key to confidence," as Arthur Ashe so rightly said. We prepare by practicing. Practice does not make perfect, for everything can always be made better. Practice makes permanence, builds confidence, and makes better. We need to practice the vision of confidence we see of ourselves in the secret of our room; in front of the mirror; and with our tribe - our relatively safe place.

The second aid espoused by Bandura is the ability to synthesize from the experience of others. That is to see ourselves in the skin of our heroes. That is, the examples of confidence we admire and crave for. This supports our ability to visualize ourselves as confident, brave, and attractive. This is known in psychology as Positive Mental Imaging (PMI). It works by the law of attraction, to create a manifesting or becoming of the thing being focused on.

The third aid from Bandura is listening to others speak life to us. Those are words of encouragement that create the picture of us achieving our desired state. And, last of all, surely not the least, and most powerful are the words we speak to ourselves. This is found in each of the four and is the overarching aid. The words of others are only powerful if and when we accept them. 

Our words go directly to our subconsciousness, which works to make it true. Speak life to yourself. Speak that which you want, not what you do not want. Coin the story of your life in a way that supports your goal. Don't talk yourself down. Talk yourself up. Guess what? Your subconsciousness does not know the difference between reality and fiction. It will believe WHATSOEVER you tell it. 

Tell your subconsciousness what works for you. Make it your ally, not your foe. Why not?

St. Akin de Great.

Links to Series:

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2/25).

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2A/25).

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2B/25).

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2B/25). Part B.

Introduction: 

This is the second of the "25 Ways To Improve Your Self Confidence (Drastically!)." It is rather long. So as not to bore anyone, I have chosen to break it into three (3) parts. Here we go with Part B.

Self-Efficacy.

Just simply borne from our humanness, we are so much easily prone to talk ourselves down. We arrived here as foreigners from another world trying to find our footing. Those we met here are our first guides and could either help or dissuade us on our journey. The expectation is that they affirm us and hence help us gain confidence. This is not always the case. In fact, a whole lot of us are exposed to various degrees of abuse.

Yet, we all still have to trade in the same marketplace. The onus then is on each of us to champion our own cause. Albert Bandura coined a word for this in 1977. It is the word self-efficacy. It is one of the four (4) traits that affect our disposition to life. The other three being Locus of Control (LOC), Neuroticism, and Self-esteem. Self-efficacy is the belief that we can handle the details of our life, task, or action.

Self-efficacy is not exactly the same as self-confidence, though they are related and close. Self-confidence is generic, while self-efficacy is specific to the occasion and or task. Bandura offers four (4) ways by which we can build or consolidate our self-efficacy. The first of these is experience. One is self-efficacious in things one has gained and or built experience in or on. Preparation is the key here.

St. Akin de Great.

Links to Series:

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2/25).

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2A/25).

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2C/25).

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2A/25). Part A.

Introduction:

This is the second of the "25 Ways To Improve Your Self Confidence (Drastically!)." It is rather long. So as not to bore anyone, I have chosen to break it into three (3) parts. Here we go with Part A.

The Enemy Within.

We are all self-made, but only the successful are bold enough to claim it. I know a lot of people don't like to hear that. They are so quick to claim the part they played in another person's success. How so vain? I don't see people being quick to lay claim to people's failures, just the success. Everyone wants to have a share of the shine. Yet, what is true for Paul is also true for Nancy.

If we are not self-made successes, then we are sure then not also self-made failures. Right? The truth really is we are all different, and the factors that determine the successes and failures in our lives are intrinsic to us, not external. It is not as much as what happens to us, or not. It is the way we perceive, interpret and react, or respond that differentiates between successes and failures.

This is what we mean by being self-made. It is not to disregard the external influences and assistance. It is to say they are all useless and subservient to an individual's choice. That is what Viktor Frankl teaches us in his book "Man's Search for Meaning." Viktor teaches, "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

St. Akin de Great.

Links to Series:

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2/25).

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2B/25).

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2C/25).

You Are Not A Prisoner (5/6).

You truly need not have had any success before. That is no showstopper. You can synthesize from the experiences of other people. You can see further. You can think. You can imagine. You can dream. You can stand on the shoulders of giants who have gone ahead. Why not? You can create your own new future. That is the whole essence of imagination. 

You can learn how the giants who have gone before overcame. You can learn about what it took. A person can NEVER rise above his/her thought (that which he/she fills him/herself with). That is the true limit of a person. And, we each determine our own limitations by how much we choose to exercise our mind - our imagination, our ability to think, visualize, and create. 

© 2016 Akin Akinbodunse.

Link to Series:

The Power of Visualization (Part Four): Harnessing the Subconscious Mind.

You Get What You Sow (4/6).

Imagination is Limitless (6/6).

Controlled By What Feeds Me.

Déjà vu by Choice.

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2/25).

The Enemy Within:

We are all self-made, but only the successful are bold enough to claim it. I know a lot of people don't like to hear that. They are so quick to claim the part they played in another person's success. How so vain? I don't see people being quick to lay claim to people's failures, just the success. Everyone wants to have a share of the shine. Yet, what is true for Paul is also true for Nancy. 

If we are not self-made successes, then we are sure then not also self-made failures. Right? The truth really is we are all different, and the factors that determine the successes and failures in our lives are intrinsic to us, not external. It is not as much as what happens to us, or not. It is the way we perceive, interpret and react, or respond that differentiates between successes and failures.

This is what we mean by being self-made. It is not to disregard the external influences and assistance. It is to say they are all useless and subservient to an individual's choice. That is what Viktor Frankl teaches us in his book "Man's Search for Meaning." Viktor teaches, "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

Self-Efficacy:

Just simply borne from our humanness, we are so much easily prone to talk ourselves down. We arrived here as foreigners from another world trying to find our footing. Those we meet here are our first guides and could either help or dissuade us on our journey. The expectation is that they affirm us and hence help us gain confidence. This is not always the case. In fact, a whole lot of us are exposed to various degrees of abuse.

Yet, we all still have to trade in the same marketplace. The onus then is on each of us to champion our own cause. Albert Bandura coined a word for this in 1977. It is the word self-efficacy. It is one of the four (4) traits that affect our disposition to life. The other three are Locus of Control (LOC), Neuroticism, and Self-esteem. Self-efficacy is the belief that we can handle the details of our life, task, or action.

Self-efficacy is not exactly the same as self-confidence, though they are related and close. Self-confidence is generic, while self-efficacy is specific to the occasion and or task. Bandura offers four (4) ways by which one can build or consolidate one's self-efficacy. The first is experience. One is self-efficacious in things one has gained and or built experience in or on. Preparation is the key here.

Talk to Yourself:

"Preparation is the key to confidence," as Arthur Ashe so rightly said. We prepare by practicing. Practice does not make perfect, for everything can always be made better. Practice makes permanence, builds confidence, and makes better. We need to practice the vision of confidence we see of ourselves in the secret of our room; in front of the mirror; and with our tribe - our relatively safe place.

The second aid espoused by Bandura is the ability to synthesize from the experience of others. That is to see ourselves in the skin of our heroes. Those are the examples of confidence we admire and crave for. This supports our ability to visualize ourselves as confident, brave, and attractive. This is known in psychology as Positive Mental Imaging (PMI). It works by the law of attraction, to create a manifesting or becoming of the thing being focused on.

The third aid from Bandura is listening to others speak life to us. Those are words of encouragement that create the picture of us achieving our desired state. And, last of all, surely not the least, and most powerful are the words we speak to ourselves. This is found in each of the four and is the overarching aid. The words of others are only powerful if and when we accept them. Ours go directly to our subconsciousness, which works to make it true.

Our words go directly to our subconsciousness, which works to make it true. Speak life to yourself. Speak that which you want, not what you do not want. Coin the story of your life in a way that supports your goal. Don't talk yourself down. Talk yourself up. Guess what? Your subconsciousness does not know the difference between reality and fiction. It will believe WHATSOEVER you tell it. 

Tell your subconsciousness what works for you. Make it your ally, not your foe. Why not?

St. Akin de Great.

Links to Series:
Visualize Yourself Being Confident, Brave & Attractive (1/25).

Do Something Challenging Every Week (3A/25). Part A.

Visualize Yourself Being Confident, Brave & Attractive (1/25).

Visualize Yourself Being Confident, Brave & Attractive. (1/25)

Introduction:

I recently read an article with the title, "25 Ways To Improve Your Self Confidence (Drastically!)." As one who is a stickler for confidence, I was easily absolved. A desire to write articles on each of the ways arose in me, and I bought into it. I am a shooter. I love shooting. So, here I go shooting.

Define the Goal:

If we are going to achieve our goal of being confident we are going to need to define what it looks like to us. It is important that it is what it looks like to us, and not to another person. Our confidence will only stand if and only if it is supported by our values and belief system. Otherwise, it will be a failure. It needs to be genuine and not make-believe. Hence, needs to be driven by and from who we are as a person.

Summon Your Subconsciousness:

We need to know and accept the confident outlook we seek. The only way we are going to achieve that is by first defining, or creating a picture of who he or she is, then selling it to our subconsciousness. We sell it by focusing on the picture we create. Focus is the means of communicating with our subconsciousness. Focus creates or simulates a trance, which in effect knocks off our conscious mind, and opens the door to our subconscious mind.

Our subconsciousness is the prophecy fulfilling part of our being. In it resides all the stories of our lives, both the true ones and the false, make-believe, ones. Our story is the engine that runs our life. Our story is our philosophy, our belief, our values, the base constituent of all that we are. Our subconsciousness works to keep congruency with these. It hates and abhors things that are out of congruence.

That is why it is so very important to sell your desired aim, picture, target, goal, the vision of confidence to your subconscious mind. Our conscious mind is only active when we are awake. Our subconscious mind is fully in control when we are asleep but only controls about 46% of our awake time. On average, an adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. This is practically undoable at the conscious level.

The secret is engaging our subconsciousness to work on our behalf in producing the more confident self we desire.

St. Akin de Sage.


#confidentme

Links to Series:

Talk Back To Your Inner Critic (2/25).

You Get What You Sow (4/6).

You have to swim upstream, not allow life to sweep you downstream. You don't have to be a prisoner of your environment and history. You were born to rule. You were born to reign. You were not born to be a prisoner. You were not born to be a captive. We were born to be victors, overcomers in this life. We were born to obliterate our history with our present and our future. 

"With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice." (Oprah Winfrey) "Destiny is a process, not a birthright." (Darren Wilson) We don’t have to be limited by our lineage. We can break the circle. We can cancel the generational curses. We can break the boundaries of limitation in our lineage. 

We can start a new line of generational blessings. We can be the agent of change. That is who we were born to be. It has not been done before is no excuse. There is no harm in being the first. You have all it takes. All you need do is rise to the occasion. Rise to the occasion of life. 

Will you?

St. Akin de Great.

© 2016 Akin Akinbodunse.

#manningthegate

Link to Series:

The Power of Visualization (Part Four): Harnessing the Subconscious Mind.

Fate Does Not Exist (3/6).

Time to Get back to Work.

Sacrifice Today for the Future You Want.

Fate Does Not Exist (3/6).

In fact, what we popularly refer to as fate, is no fate at all. There truly is no fate. Nothing is destined to happen. Everything occurs or does not according to the Law of Cause and Effect. Some we understand and some we do not. Irrespective though, it is always in our power as to what we do with them, how we allow them to affect us, and who we become in spite of (or with) them. 

What we know as and call fate is the refusal to take charge and direct the course of our life. It is our refusal to take charge of our own destiny. It is our refusal to come up with our own goals, and press for their fulfillment. "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." (Carl Gustav Jung)

Fate is the alibi of the lazy of hands, mind, and spirit. It is the submission to life's downward and negative pull, which is the destiny of those who will do nothing, i.e. not take charge of their own course. A ship does not get to its destination by simply subjecting itself to the mercy of the winds and waves. No! No!! No!!! 

The ship knows its course and sets its sail aright to utilize the wind to its advantage, in reaching its predetermined destination. It is no prisoner to the winds and the waves. Rather, it uses them to its full advantage in achieving its set goals. It does not get to its destination by fate. No! No!! No!!! It is a predetermined outcome, ensured by the action it takes. It is an active process, not a passive one.

Fate is for the passive, no future ambition folks, not you. Your life and success are for the taking. You either take hold of and ensure it, or it will be taken from you. If you are going to be happy in life and fulfilled, it is not going to happen by chance. Nothing good happens by chance. All that is good comes from active involvement in the issues of life. You have to swim upstream, not allow life to sweep you downstream.

St. Akin de Great.

© 2016 Akin Akinbodunse.

#Subconsciousness

Link to Series:

The Power of Visualization (Part Four): Harnessing the Subconscious Mind.

Harnessing the Subconscious Mind (2/6).

You Get What You Sow (4/6).

Controlled By What Feeds Me.

Déjà vu by Choice.

Harnessing the Subconscious Mind (2/6).

When you think about a thing long enough you take ownership of it. As far as your subconsciousness is concern it is an actual experience in your past, irrespective of its reality. It might be virtual, it might be fiction, but to your subconscious mind, it is real. The essence of visualization, positive mental attitude, imaging, and the like, is to positively harness this power of the subconscious mind for our own success.

You can dream up a place called, "There,". You can widen your horizon. You can imagine. You can create new empowering experiences. Life is not an accident. It is a and by design. The only question is whose design. Yours or someone else? You can take ownership of your life You are supposed to take ownership of your life and usher in the path that causes you to live to the utmost, the highest expression of all you are.

You are "Invictus." You are unlimited because you can think. You are unlimited because you can imagine. You are unlimited because you can create. You are unlimited because you can visualize. A person who can think is never limited, nor lost. Your mind holds the keys to bringing you back home. It holds the keys to your wealthy place. It holds the keys to your fulfillment. 

"Create a vision of who you want to be, and then live into that picture as if it were already true." (Arnold Schwarzenegger)

The canvas of your life is waiting on you. Start painting. Start being. Start living.

St. Akin de Great.

Link to Series:
The Power of Visualization (Part Four): Harnessing the Subconscious Mind.

Anxiety Disarms Our Conscious Mind (1/6).
Déjà vu by Choice.

Anxiety Disarms Our Conscious Mind (1/6).

Herein are the danger and stupidity of anxiety. 

“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” (Arthur S. Roche) 

Anxiety sells our subconscious mind “baloney,” and it buys it, helplessly, hook, line, and sinker. Why? It's defense, our conscious mind, let it down. Our subconscious mind buys whatever gets to it. Again, to reiterate, it cannot differentiate between fiction and reality. It depends on our conscious mind to make that distinction (differentiation). It assumes everything that gets to it has been duly checked and passed on.

Anxiety erodes away the only defense our subconscious mind has. We are left at the mercy of our imagination, our negative conceptualization of the things we fear. All those negative creativity are fed into our subconscious mind as actual occurrences. When you dwell long enough on it, the subconscious mind will give the command to secrete the very same hormones into your bloodstream as it would have secreted in an actual fight or flight mode.

Have you had a "déjà vu" before? Are there things in your mind that seem like they happened but you know never really did? Look back at a time of anxiety, or intentionality of thought in your life. That was when those memory cells were created. You thought so much about these that your subconscious mind recorded them as an actual occurrence. 

Herein is the power and core of brainwashing, behavioral conditioning (programming), and the likes.

St. Akin de Great.

© 2016 Akin Akinbodunse.

#Subconsciousness

Link to Series:

The Power of Visualization (Part Four): Harnessing the Subconscious Mind.

Harnessing the Subconscious Mind (2/6).

Déjà vu by Choice.