Wednesday, 13 September 2017

Fighting The Enemies of Marriage (Part Fifteen)

Overcoming The Fear of Commitment (Part Eight): Take the Mask Off - - III
Are you picky and have a pattern of faultfinding? You sure are going to have relationship issues with that kind of attitude. That is no curse, just a mere statement of fact. Being easily given to faultfinding is a symptom of imbalance. It is not the people with faults. Rather, it is your reflection in them. It is a reaction to the weakness in you, you see in others. Typically, the others are not the problem. The problem is that in you, you are being reminded of, and which you are running away from. To find peace with others you need to first find true peace with and in your own self.
                                           
"Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering." (Miguel Ruiz)
Are you unable to recover from failed love relationships? You put too much of yourself into a relationship you don’t know how to find yourself after it is ended. This is yet another symptom of one with commitment issues. This is one who does not know where the punctuation marks are and should be. As good and as important as relationships are, they are not meant to control us. It is not a fix for our addictions, nor is it another drug on the shelf to be addicted to. The center of control needs to always reside in and with us. We are not slaves to relationships. "Relationship" was made for us, and not the reverse. You don't want to ever get this out of sync.
Wearing a mask wears you out. Faking it is fatiguing. The most exhausting activity is pretending to be what you know you aren’t. (Rick Warren)
Is there something about your attitude and lifestyle that discourages potential partners? We all can get better. None of us is perfect. We can each learn. We can grow. We can become the person of our dreams. It is possible. We are possible. And, this is irrespective of what our story or history might be. Our future has no respect for our past. We might not be able to change the past, but we can influence and change our today and our future. We each have the power to do that. We are not prisoners. We are free.
"Find yourself and express yourself in your own particular way. Express your love openly. Life is nothing, but a dream, and if you create your life with love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art." (Don Miguel Ruiz)
Even if it might appear we are physically caged, we still can make the best of whatever situation or place we find ourselves. We are without excuse. We have heard enough of the same old story. We have heard enough of how you were treated, or not. You can break the cycle. You can start a new lineage. You can open a new page. You can take responsibility. You can live, again.
"The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking." (Albert Einstein)
The simple truth of life is "WE ALL HAVE BAGGAGE" from our past. Yours might not be as dramatic does not exonerate you. The important thing is getting a hold of why we do what we do, and if it is not working for us, and our relationship, seek to make the right adjustments/changes. There is a reason we do what we do. There is a reason we respond the way we do. And, we can change. We can make adjustments to produce the life we desire. We are without excuses. We were created with a brain, a mind, for a reason. There is a reason we can think. It is so we can create the world/environment we desire, rather than be held captive.

"It is not the length of life, but the depth of life. He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Ignorance is no bliss. What we do not know is hurting and will hurt us. It is our responsibility to know. It is our responsibility to find out. It is our responsibility to ask. It is our responsibility to search. No one is going to do that for us. Others might help, but the onus is always on us to receive and implement as appropriate. We are the ones to make the right adjustments and fine-tuning until the results we seek are obtained. So, go conquer some fear today. Shed some of that baggage, holding so tightly to you. You can do it. It is possible. You are possible. Step out and live.

© 2017 Akin Akinbodunse

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