Thursday, 27 August 2020

To The Singles With Love: Be Humble (Part Two): Locus of Control

'Got it Together

“Be able to decline a date so gracefully that the person isn’t embarrassed that he or she asked.” ― Marilyn vos Savant.

Keeping the House:

I am finally able to get back to you. Apologies for the time it took to get back. My initial outlook was being able to do this weekly, but it's been three (3) weeks since we last got together. It has not been for lack of what to write. It has been a lack of time to pen it. Behold, I am yet mortal.

In fact, after our last time, the topic has been growing on my inside. That is the sentence a Teacher is exposed to. It is like the five loaves and two fishes Jesus fed the multitude. Such growth is for the purposes of simplicity and applicability of the subject matter to daily living.

Thanks for the few questions you pushed across. I am honored that you took enough to heart to seek clarity. Again, by way of emphasis, this is a communication channel. It is for you and no other. Feel free to make full use of it. Ensure you get the utmost value out of it.

Feel free to ask questions. Never forget quality questions lead to quality answers. Questions are the instrument by which you draw that which you want or need from a person. It goes from what is for all to what is for you. So, feel free to be selfish. Ensure you get the full value of our time together.

Now let us pick up from where we stopped last time. "Locus (center) of Control."

Locus of Control:

We closed our last time together with this sentence, "For humility and meekness, the locus of control is residence within the individual." This presupposes you all know what is meant by the term "locus of control." That obviously, might not be the case for everyone, and since we do not want to leave anyone behind, let us dig a little deeper.

What is "Locus of Control?" Why is it important? And, how does it relate to humility and meekness?

In a simple, layman, every day, and streetwise sense and language, "locus of control" refers to the place, center, or location where the decisions, directions, and directives of one's life are made. This has always existed in nature, but as far as psychology goes, it was conceptualized by Julian B. Rotter in 1954.

There are, basically, two possible loci available to us. These are internal (inside of us, our space, within our control and influence) and external (outside of us; outside our space, our control, and our influence). The basic difference between the two is where you place the responsibility for your life and destiny.

Differentiating the Locus of Control:

Those with an internal locus of control take full responsibility for their lives. They are not given to making excuses, nor are they at the mercy of their instincts and emotions. They have a developed and strong sense of will power. They tend to be inward and self-motivated. Such has evolved from the dependent state, on the life continuum, to a state of independence.

Those with an external locus of control renege the responsibility for their lives to things outside their control. They believe they have no control as to the direction nor destiny of their lives. In their mindset, success or failure has nothing to do with their action or inaction. Rather it is by the ordination of fate, or luck - a condition, or personality. Such are trapped in the dependent state, ever in need.

Terms synonymous with an internal locus of control include hard work, "sowing and reaping; cause and effect; investments, and returns. Terms synonymous with an external locus of control include luck, fate, circumstance, injustice, bias, unfairness, and prejudice.

Circles of Concern, Control or Influence, and Commitment:

To better understand "locus of control," let us take a quick look at one of its analogies, "The Circles of Concern, Control or Influence and Commitment," exposed by Stephen Covey in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. This is tied to the very first Habit - "Be Proactive."

Stephen Covey admonishes us to always focus on the "circle of control or influence," for when we work on it, it becomes larger, we get more powerful. Only one with an internal locus of control can do that. For one with an external locus of control, the question will be, why worry, why care? He or she feels he or she cannot make a difference. Rather, the person with the external locus of control is enslaved by focusing on things outside their circle of control or influence. 

This focus on the "circle of concern" causes their "circle of influence to get smaller, and hence become less powerful. As J. Hudson rightly wrote, "There are three stages to every great work of God; first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done." You do realize you are a great work of God. Your future person is a great work of God. 

Your goals, targets, ambitions, aspirations, and vision are all great works of God. They might look impossible today. Stay at it. Then, they'll appear difficult. Stay at it still. Then you'll be surprised as they become living realities in your life. Never forget what we started with our last time around, "Nothing just happens." People make them happen by the seeds they sow and the causes they engage in.

Proactivity:

People don't just become humble or meek by chance. These are fruits. Fruits don't drop from the skies. Fruits come from seeds. If you want the fruit, you have to plant the seed that produces the fruit. You plant an orange seed, you get orange fruit. Fruit doesn't come by laying on of hands or some magical event. It is the result of sowing and causing.

You not going to be humble or meek overnight. It is a process of sowing, watering, cultivating, and God giving the increase. It is not easy, but it is possible. There is no life on the easy road. As Napoleon Hill puts it, "The habit of taking the line of least resistance makes all rivers and some men crooked."

So, which are you game for? A crooked deprecating life? Or the life of your wildest dreams and imagination? It is possible. You are possible. Don't forget, "it might first appear impossible, then difficult, and before you know it, you are there." Before you know it, you are in the land of your wildest dreams and imaginations. You are in your wealthy and large place.

And, I mean every single word used above. Proactivity does not just buy you humility and meekness. It buys you everything else along in the package. Or, you never heard of the phrase, "the meek shall inherit the earth?"

Interlude:

Well, we are at another stopping point. I wish I could go on and on, but I understand the human limit and variedness. So, I'll leave you to digest this little. Feel free to send in whatsoever question you have. We'll pick up from here next time around. 

Thanks for your time. Hope this helps you. Let me know. Thanks to those of you who came on board our "Single and Blessed" community after our last time together. I read that as interest in what we are doing and that we are headed in the right direction. Thanks for your feedback. It makes a difference.

You know I love you. Keep occupying. Keep reigning. You have been activated to breakthrough. You have the mandate.

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