"No matter how good it will feel in the moment, never do anything out of spite or to get back at the other person. It will only backfire and make things worse." — Ruanne and Rob Crumpley, married 44 years, Westminster, CO.
This is a pearl of core wisdom for all types of relationships. No wonder it is found in the holy book. People misunderstood the writings because their hearts are not given to wisdom. It is not about turning the other chick. It is about always choosing to be the bigger (mature, responsible) person.
Only this morning, I was chatting with my god-daughter. Her husband had been disrespecting her. She needed to vent, and she knows I am a safe place for such. So she came to me. She has a choice. She can choose to disrespect him in ways that will get under his skin, but to what end will that be?
We are each without excuse. We are each responsible for our own actions, irrespective of the provocation that might have resulted in or provoked it. We are without excuse. Once we have become biological and or chronological adults, maturity is demanded of us.
Maturity is the ability to respond sensibly to any and all provocations. This is a requirement for marriage. It is a litmus test. Anyone not in control of his or her emotions should not be allowed to marry irrespective of the hallucination (otherwise called love) they are in.
If we can do this we will have fewer abusive homes, fewer divorce situations, and more happy and harmonious homes. Love is not enough for maturity. The individuals need to be mature - emotionally above all else. Love will fade and vary in intensity.
Maturity is what sustains the marriage through the seasons, ignites and re-ignites the flames of love - true love.
Hoping this speaks to someone.
The Saint.
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