“Number one, never stop talking. Problems arise when people stop talking to each other. Laugh a lot, we crack each other up constantly! I do the best I can and I feel like that's the way most people are. We do the best we can until we know how to do better.” — Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe, married 14 years.
Lack of communication ranks tops amongst the reason for divorce, far above the lack of love. Most people who divorce is not necessarily for the lack of love. They just lost their way. They lost the way to living together. They lost the way of communication. Their communication became non-existent.
They stopped speaking the same language. And, one or both refused to learn the other's language. They refused to invest the necessary effort to bridge the divide, the gap. This is one of the shortfalls of the romantics. They are all about feelings. A marriage built solely on romanticism is bound for failure.
One person or both MUST always care enough to carry the load, the burden of the relationship. Both or one digging in on his or her love language spoils the soup of the marriage relationship. You must be willing to let down the guard and accept your partner for who he or she is and help he or she come up without force.
It's the sacrifice of marriage. Marriage is not made of robots. It is made of human being inherent with faults and shortcomings. Dialogue is what helps to understand each others faults, shortcomings and how these affects the relationship. It is the forum for shaping out the way forward and through the storm together.
And, above all it has to always be done with mutual respect for one another and the union. Let's go talking.
The Saint.
The Saint.
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