Saturday 7 November 2020

To The Singles With Love: Be Humble (Part Five): Mental Health

'Can Do With Some Help

“Be able to decline a date so gracefully that the person isn’t embarrassed that he or she asked.” ― Marilyn vos Savant.

Keeping the House:

I truly have not been in a hurry to get back. I was looking for the best way to ensure we maximize our last visit. Checking the box is not the reason I make these visits. Rather, it is because I love you and want to ensure you get better, irrespective of your present estate. That is the only reason I make these visits. I already do more than I probably should be doing. So, adding more tasks is neither my desire nor motivation. 

Having invited a subject matter expert, I did not want to rush away from that atmosphere. Dr. Yemisi Adebowale truly delivered and left us with a lot of gems to chew. How many of us have been chewing on these? How many of us are practicing these? Every day, in the news media, we are inundated with news of neurotic events. Here in Nigeria, we've had several marital related murders. In Ghana, a boyfriend beats the girlfriend only because she stood her ground of marriage before living together. 

In Zambia, a man guns down his wife and suspected lover then reports himself to the police. In the Maldives, just like in many seeming hidden enclaves, child marriage's challenges leads to several domestic violence, divorces, deaths, etc. All stemming from neurotic episodes and events from demanded responses of people who do not have the psychological maturity to meet such. Yes, they might have biological maturity, but that is only less than 25% of what makes for a home. 

These incidents have also been precipitated by the Covid-19 lockdown, which has hounded us most of 2020. The true strength of individuals has been tested. And, there sure have been many failures. Mental health is a critical topic in the world we are faced with. It is unavoidable. It is the reality of living in the generation we find ourselves in. If one does not intentionally take care of his or her own mental health, there is every likelihood such a person will become a victim of mental illness at some point in time or the other.    

That is why I am dedicating this visit to gleaning more on the important things to maintain mental health. And how to get congruence back if or when one has lost it. Really, at such a point, you need professional help. I am not qualified to provide such. However, I can provide you with ways to make professional help effective. Please feel free to ask questions and seek clarification on things you might not understand. 

When I write, I write to the crowd. Only you know the specificity of how it applies or does not apply to you. The best way to close such gaps is to ask questions. I am here not just to visit but to make a difference. Please help me achieve my purpose. Thanks!

Gleaning from our Last Visit:

Dr. Yemisi Adebowale did mention, "Diagnosis of mental health disorders is only made when specific criteria are met. First, a clinically recognizable set of symptoms that PERSIST must be present. Secondly, these symptoms are associated WITH DISTRESS. In cases where the individual isn’t distressed, their loved ones usually are. And lastly, symptoms INTERFERE with personal functions. The individual may not be able to play their roles, as a father, wife, banker, husband, neighbor, choir director, and so on as well as before."

She reminded us, "Learning to manage stress is vital here. When you react to a stressful situation, maturely and healthily, you are  adaptively coping. Adaptive coping skills and techniques use your knowledge and internal strength to adjust to a negative situation and avoid overreaction or adverse reactions. For example, instead of screaming and shouting because someone cut you off in rush hour traffic, you turn the radio on and listen to music you know will make you smile." 

"Taking time out from a stressful situation by visiting a good friend or taking a long cold bath is positive or adaptive. These actions will help to reduce the negative emotions associated with stress. While it is healthy sometimes to avoid the source of stress, other times, you may need to confront it and demand a change. For example, you could choose to discuss matters of recurring conflict with your spouse instead of sweeping it under the carpet." 

"You may then find out things are not as bad as you thought or get to appraise your challenges positively. You could also seek help from supportive people, such as counselors or friends, to solve problems. Participating in negative behaviors such as getting drunk, using psychoactive substances, harming yourself, or getting into a fit of rage, are maladaptive coping ways. Just because something works does not mean it is the right way of handling a situation. In the long term, they lead to more significant difficulties."

She espoused, "coping mechanisms need to be positive for you to lead a mentally healthy lifestyle. Other coping strategies include: Taking care of yourself - Get enough sleep; Eat Healthily; Exercise regularly; Build Support Network; Be Mindful; Cognitive Restructuring; Promptly Treating Medical and Surgical Conditions." 


Well, we are at another stopping point. Wish I could go on and on, but that would be rather selfish and a waste. We are each human, meaning we are limited in the attention span and processing of information per time. So, I'll leave you to digest this little. Feel free to send in whatsoever question you have. Never forget, this is a communication channel. We'll pick up from here next time around. 

Thanks for your time. Hope this helps you. Do let me know. A special welcome to all our new faces on the "Single and Blessed" community page. Thanks for being God's stamp of approval on what we are doing. Thanks for entrusting us with your time. I trust you'll not regret it in any way. Take a snapshot of your life today. Transformation is going to hit you like you've never seen before. Welcome home.

You know I love you. Keep occupying. Keep reigning. You have been activated to breakthrough. You have the mandate.

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