Thursday 11 June 2020

Overcoming the Fear of Commitment (Day 13)

Attracted to things Feeding Something in Me
Left on its own, our lives will track the path it is most comfortable with. That is that which feeds something on the inside. It seeks to bring us in alignment with something in our past, irrespective of our consciousness of it. It is something(s) that left an indelible mark on it, based on the way it made us feel. As Marcel Proust puts it, 
“The inertia of the mind urges it to slide down the easy slope of imagination, rather than to climb the steep slope of introspection.” 
Our subconscious mind (also known as “Default Network,” “Narrative Circuit” or "Autopilot Mode") will rather follow established neurological (neural) pathways than create new ones. That is the most efficient route for it. The defaults are always efficient for the subconscious mind. That is the way it is designed and programmed to function. Williams James puts it like this,
"All our life, so far as it has a definite form, is but a mass of habits – practical, emotional, and intellectual – systematically organized for our weal or woe, and bearing us irresistibly toward our destiny, whatever the latter may be."
So, left undisturbed (uninfluenced) it will always go the path of our established habits, and neural pathways. It is an efficient system. On average, an adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. This is practically undoable at the conscious level. Hence, most of these are done on autopilot using our subconscious mind, in the background, off the critical path of life, offline.
"The word "habit" originally meant a garment or clothing... Our habits are literally garments worn by our personalities. They are not accidental, or happenstance. We have them because they fit us." – Maxwell Maltz.
Our subconscious mind develops an unconscious decision-making system to manage routines, using our existing habits, beliefs, and bias. This keeps our conscious mind from being overloaded. And, hence is able to focus on the immediate task and essence of living per time. The subconscious mind is the workhorse doing all its work in the background and ensuring all that is needed by our conscious mind is ALWAYS ready, as at when due and needed.

Takeaways: (for your journal, and possible sharing in the comments section)
1. What are your personal beliefs? Name any five (5).
2. What are your personal beliefs about relationships?
3. Do you know where these beliefs come from?
4. How have they worked for you so far?
5. Do you want to keep them, change them, or tweak them?

© 2020 Akin Akinbodunse

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