Thursday, 11 June 2020

Overcoming the Fear of Commitment (Day 13)

Attracted to things Feeding Something in Me
Left on its own, our lives will track the path it is most comfortable with. That is that which feeds something on the inside. It seeks to bring us in alignment with something in our past, irrespective of our consciousness of it. It is something(s) that left an indelible mark on it, based on the way it made us feel.

As Marcel Proust puts it, “The inertia of the mind urges it to slide down the easy slope of imagination, rather than to climb the steep slope of introspection.” Our subconscious mind (also known as “Default Network,” “Narrative Circuit” or "Autopilot Mode") will rather follow established neurological (neural) pathways than create new ones. That is the most efficient route for it.

The defaults are always efficient for the subconscious mind. That is the way it is designed and programmed to function. So, left undisturbed (uninfluenced) it will always go the path of our established habits, and neural pathways. On average, an adult makes 35,000 decisions a day. This is practically undoable at the conscious level. Hence, most of these are done on autopilot using our subconscious mind, in the background, off the critical path of life, offline.

Our subconscious mind develops an unconscious decision-making system to manage routines, using our existing habits, beliefs, and bias. This keeps our conscious mind from being overloaded. And, hence is able to focus on the immediate task and essence of living per time. The subconscious mind is the workhorse doing all its work in the background and ensuring all that is needed by our conscious mind is ALWAYS ready as at when due.

Here we see another analogy. Our subconscious mind is the chef in the kitchen at the upscale restaurant. While our conscious mind is the waiters. The heavy liftings are done by the chef (subconscious mind) to ensure the meal requirements are met by the waiters (conscious mind) The subconscious mind (chef) is a service provider. It does not have a mind of its own.

The main drive of the subconscious mind is to provide excellent service to the end customer sitting in the restaurant. It does not judge the request made of it. It receives and treats every request, that gets to it, as valid, and goes to work to meet its desire. It depends on the subconscious mind (waiters) to make the dissociations and associations, qualifications, and disqualifications. So by the time it receives a request, it assumes it to be valid order.

Unless told otherwise the subconscious mind (chef) will run the kitchen the way it has always done. It has no cause to change the way the kitchen process and its constituent production lines operate. Its main driver does not include making changes. It is a multiply and a guardian of already established norms. Its driver is to excel and be proficient in what is while leaving the issues of change to the waiters (conscious mind).

So, if all a person does is to live by the subconscious mind his/her brain has the tendency of being underdeveloped as it is not exercised by change. Change causes the brain to develop new neural pathways by the exercise of the conscious mind. The conscious mind is engaged until the change is habituated, then it can sit back, and the subconscious mind takes full charge.

The process of habituation is the process of creating new habits by the creation of new neurological pathways along which the neutrons (brain cells) are fired.

Takeaways: (for your journal, and possible sharing in the comments section)
1. What are your personal beliefs? Name any five (5).
2. What are your personal beliefs about relationships?
3. Do you know where these beliefs come from?
4. How have they worked for you so far?
5. Do you want to keep them, change them, or tweak them?

© 2020 Akin Akinbodunse


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