And, it was no surprise the difference in drift between the male and female responses. Further goes to prove the endemicity of the challenge. Females testing the males before copulation is an accepted and natural instinctive reaction of the female species in the animal kingdom.
The female species carries the responsibility for the eggs, and hence the continuity of its lineage, as a vital vibrant species in the ecosystem. Hence, testing for a suitable male companion is rather instinctive. The ancients gave women away as the price for winning championships, or standing tall amongst colleagues.
It was in a sense the passing of tests to qualify or be worthy of the female. Women tend to test men to see if they have the traits they value the most in a partner. In essence to see to what extent they fit their picture of "prince charming."
Yes, women love for no reason, but that is not the end of the story. They do not let go of their vision of prince charming and wish beyond hope their mate will fit the billing. Men are the opposite. They love for a reason, and only wish the reason stays the same. They have no vision of change, nor do they want one.
The Saint.
Link to Series:
Ephraim Ojima: Going by what you say, it means women are the worst in testing, because if they actually test and said yes based on their test, then complain most of the time of who they have approved, then there is something wrong with their process testing. Yes, I agree that most women also have this myopic deception that they can change a full-grown man into what they want so they marry with that misconception also based on their flawed testing parameters and then complain later that he has changed and that he is no longer the man they married when they actually changed him, but unfortunately the change transformation most times never go the way they want. As for men wanting their wife to remain the same, apart from the physical appearance, men always want their women to change for the better, everyone wants their partner to be better, the only problem is we all want our partners to change for our own good even if it kills them. Human beings are naturally selfish.
ReplyDeleteMarriage Minute: Well said. These are the challenges. That is why we are having the conversation. The testing is flawed. Hopefully, while going through this conversation we can all become better.
Ephraim Ojima: Amen. Personally, I believe in 2 Corinthians 4:18, it says the things we see are temporal but that which we cannot see are unchanging. Now, I'm not saying anyone should marry anyone they do not appreciate his or her beauty, no, I don't subscribe to any one waking up to their partner and not being able to thank God for their partner lying beside them, however, this I have found, that two people can become friends over time and not consider the physical outlook of their friend as a result of the joy and happiness they get from their friend. I hope that applies in the marriage too cause presently I'm single and have no one and really haven't been in relationships with the opposite sex so I cannot say I'm a big authority there, but from my studies, I have found that after a while, how beautiful and handsome your partner is doesn't really matter again if their attitude towards you is bad. Hence, I believe as much as we should look for someone we can appreciate their beauty, we should focus on those factors that can hardly change regardless of circumstances, and those factors are things they depend on God to help them achieve, as their love and fear for God, their service to God and humanity expressed in their creativity and selflessness. Because of their creativity and hard work and drive are towards self-gratification and everything selfish, a time will come when they will do anything against others including their partners just to gratify themselves. But if they love to be a blessing to God and others, that will definitely include their partners. So I think looking for people who enjoy being a blessing to others is a good testing parameter, cause they will enter blessing their partner all of their lives. This means their partner will be blessed all of their lives. I will advise becoming this partner first and looking for someone just like you, because if one partner loves blessing and the other is selfish, one will have to turn the other in the long run, and may the odds be in the favor of the good person if not, there's going to be a disaster.
Marriage Minute: Very well said. And, correctly so. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It is not necessarily absolute. One man's poison might be another person's food.
Ephraim Ojima: Sorry I'm talking too much.
Marriage Minute: Nothing to be sorry about. This is a community. The whole intent is to learn from one another.
Ephraim Ojima: Many thanks.
Marriage Minute: You are always welcome.