Saturday 7 August 2021

Marriage will Change You (Part Four): The Continuum of Life.

There are basically two (2) types of people – those who make progress and those who make excuses. Which are you? That is rather a rhetorical question. The answer is clearly seen in your daily decisions, behavior, and dispositions. The good thing is, irrespective of where you find yourself today, you can change. You can get better. You can improve. You can position your life towards excellence and greatness.

Those who make excuses use their history as a crutch not to live to the fullness of their responsibilities and calling. Rather than push themselves, they choose to take the easy route of blaming their lot on others and the environment. Rather than the rule in life, they allow themselves to be ruled over. Such people are typically bitter in one form or the other. They feel imprisoned by life

They tend to punish the people in their present for the sins and shortcomings of those in their past. They are dependent, needy people, who have refused to grow up. There is a time to be dependent. It is the beginning of all things. The challenge of life is not to stay there, but to grow into independent persons. Unfortunately, not everyone makes this transition. The extent to which we do is what we define as maturity. It is the extent to which we are truly single, whole.

The way we transition from dependent persons to independent persons is by winning our private battles – the war within. It is by coming to know who we are and being comfortable with the same as our foundation to build from. It is coming to terms with the things about our life that cannot be changed, and those that can. It is taking charge of the issues of our life, living above them, and marshaling the same in line with our predetermined life goals and vision.

We are not ready for marriage until we are truly single – independent, matured. Marriage (which is an interdependent relationship) is designed for two independent, unique single persons deciding to come together for the purpose and intent of increasing one another. As Stephen R. Covey rightly states, “Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make. Dependent people cannot choose to become interdependent. They don’t have the character to do it; they don’t own enough of themselves.”

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