Friday, 31 July 2020

With love to the Singles: Be whole.

I Know Me. Do You Know You?
"Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike." ― J.K. Rowling

'Ain't No Mind Reader:

The silent treatment is childish. No one comes to a relationship to read minds. Nor, is reading of mind a necessary quality of a good partner. Be open, be plain. Don't say no, when you mean to say yes. Don't say yes, when you mean to say no. Respect yourself. You are valuable.

Ever before you enter ANY relationship ensure you know what your personal boundaries are and what your personal boundaries should be. It is already too late when you are in a relationship to start setting boundaries. However, it is better late than never.

Pressure Sensitive:

Boundaries are critical at every stage of your life, irrespective of who you are, where you live or the class you seem to find yourself. A boundary is a declaration of your individuality. Your individuality is the asset you take into any relationship.

Without individuality, you are a sheer liability to everyone including your own very self. A boundary is a definition of your personal space. It defines what you will do and to what extent; and what you will not. Yes, you can refine your boundaries from time to time, but it must always be for the right reasons.

A Better Me:

You only refine your boundaries to climb to a higher cadre in life and not to cheapen yourself in any way, shape, or form. Hence, your boundaries need to be based on the right principles and philosophies. Though any boundary is by far better than no boundary at all, you want to check your boundaries from time to time to ensure they are working for you, and not against.

You want to confirm your boundaries are in harmony with the goals and targets you have set for your life. You want to be sure they are helping your well being spiritually, psychologically, and physically. So, when you do enter into a relationship the grey areas are reduced to a barest minimum or is none existing. 

Power Under Control:

You see where there are no boundaries, everything is up to assumptions. Assumptions empower the emotions and instincts to run riot. Those are two deadly things to combine. Left to run riot, they can practically make you do ANYTHING you can imagine and even more.

So, when and if your boundaries are up, you have no place for playing games in a relationship. You know what you want and stay the course to get it. If you like a person you carry yourself accordingly. If you don't, you carry yourself accordingly. You are not one to give missed signals.

'Am Whole:

You are not keeping someone wasting their life away with you, only because you are still searching. Your boundaries help you in determining who to commit to. And, when you commit, you work it out, unless there is a fatal flaw.

Hoping this helps someone out there.

© 2020 Akin Akinbodunse


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