Saturday, 12 August 2017

Questions and Answers (Seventeen): Broken Trust?

QUESTION: 
How can one re-build broken trust?

ANSWER:
You need to first forgive - both the offender and yourself. What happened has happened. There is no gain dwelling over spilled milk. The next thing is to learn the right lessons from experience. What was it about you that allowed this to occur? What was it about the person that allowed this to happen? If life was to replay itself, what are the things you will do differently that might avoid the incident? The important thing is to be brutally honest with yourself. It is not an occasion to unnecessarily beat yourself up. Nor is it an occasion to be unnecessarily protective, either. You gain nothing from the two extremes.
"You are not a fool for trusting someone who lied to you. They are the fool for lying to someone who trusted them. It’s the easiest thing in the world to get away with temporarily, and the hardest thing to recover from permanently. Please don’t let it change you. There are already way too many of them, and so far too few of you." ― Doe Zantamata 

Having garnered the lessons, the next thing is to apply them in your life, going forward. Let the offender know, though you have forgiven him/her the onus is on him/her to earn back your trust. Your place is to create an environment for this. Don't create hell for him or her. Create an environment for renewal and growth. 
"Forgiveness simply means loving someone enough to pursue healing instead of punishment when they have wronged you." ― Dave Willis
Hoping this helps.

 © 2015 Akin Akinbodunse


Links to Series:
Questions and Answers (Part Sixteen)
Questions and Answers (Eighteen)

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