"Don't agree to do things you truly do not want to do just because your spouse wants you to. Bit by bit, resentment can build when you continually compromise your own joy. Instead, seek opportunities that you can both enjoy together and be comfortable enjoying activities alone when your partner doesn't feel the same way about them. It's absolutely okay to compromise occasionally but doing it as a rule can erode the relationship." — Rob and Sarah Briggs, married 20 years, Murrieta, CA.
"NO" might be the most difficult two lettered word to say, but it will save your marriage and relationship much more that YES will. NO is the declaration and enforcement of boundaries. Every true love, relationship and marriage has boundaries. If there are no boundaries, I dear say the love, relationship and marriage ain't true, nor sustainable, and is simply marking time for failure.
True love has boundaries, for it is a gift of all that a person is and all a person isn't. It is naked and not ashamed. It is authentic, pure, and real. To give you all that I am is to give you all that I am not. For to be all that I am I have to not be all that I am not. My best is revealed and given in being allowed to be authentically me, and not be force fitted into a cloak that is not mine.
Like we get to say, without tiring, there are ALWAYS three persons in EVERY relationship. These are YOU, ME and WE. All three are equally important and most be given free rein for the relationship to prosper, be healthy, life giving, and sustainable. For the more I can be ME is the more I can give myself to WE. The same applies to YOU. The more you can be YOU is the more you can give yourself to WE.
No one knows how to take care of YOU like YOU. No one knows how to take care of ME like ME. When YOU and ME are adequately served they can willing contribute to serve and nourish WE. No one can take care of WE like we. WE is work, and it requires a healthy YOU and ME to pull together for its sustenance and nourishing.
Hoping this helps.
The Saint.
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