Saturday, 24 June 2017

Fighting The Enemies of Marriage (Part Ten)

Overcoming The Fear of Commitment (Part Three): Disperse the Frog - - I 
Back in 1991, I was at a wedding reception in Umuahia, a city in South-Eastern Nigeria, when suddenly I saw people running out of the venue. Of course, I joined in getting out as soon as possible, only to get outside and we were all asking what the issue was. Whatever the reason, it was so inconsequential I can't even remember. Thanks to God, no one ran over the wedding cake. Thanks to God, no one got injured.
"My life has been filled with terrible misfortunes; most of which never happened." (Michel de Montaigne)
Have you been in such a situation before? Haven't we all, in the daily hassle, hustle, and bustle of life? We are running from what we don't know, thinking where we are running to is better. Really? More often than not, we arrive at the new destination wondering why we made the move in the first place. We allowed the pain to get the better of us. We allowed fear to get the better of us. We allowed that which was meant for our growth and development to become the very cause of our instability.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life." (Prince)
Earl Nightingale, in his book, "The Essence of Success," notes,
"Only 8% of your worries are worth concerning yourself about. 92% are sure fog with no substance at all."
Wow! Isn't that rather humbling and annoying, all at the same time? To know what we kill ourselves over are mere fog (smoke) - things with no substance. All that fear you have been harboring about marriage, relationship, sex, money, (you name it) probably, only 8% is worth anything at all. The challenge of life is how to know the 8%, give it our optimal focus and excel thereby. Let us go back to Earl and ask for help. He gives a breakdown of the 92% as follows,
"Things that never happen - 40%.That is 40% of the things you worry about will never occur anyway. Things over a past that can't be changed by all the worry in the world - 30%. Needless worries about our health - 12%. Petty miscellaneous worries - 10%." 
"Things that never happen." Wow! That is the foggiest of them all. How come things that never happen to eat our lunch? The key lies in that which was given to us for our survival, exaltation, dominion, and rule. That is our ability to create - bring to birth, from nothing, that which hitherto never existed.

You know God gave the lion a robust body, poise, and strength. He gave the tiger strength, power, size, build, and a killer instinct. He gave the cheetah speed (the fastest land animal in the world). He gave the eagle a majestic build, sharp eyes, strong feet, and wings. He gave the chameleon, octopus, and different other animals the ability to camouflage. He held the best for last. He held the best for us. He gave us a brain, a mind (conscious and sub-conscious). With this, we dwarf every other living being or thing.


The danger, however, is, what we have been given is a two-edged sword. It can either work for or against us. It all depends on how we approach it. If we approach it by/with faith it exalts us. If we approach it by/with fear it debases us. The choice as always is ours to make. Our mind is such that it can synthesize for us things that never happened. This is for the intent of creating in/for us the emotions and dispositions we might need. Hence, we don't have to go through the real occurrences to get the benefits they bring. This is supposed to work for us, but just as well can work against us.

It is the basis of brainwashing, hypnotism, mental torture, mind control, advertisement (subliminal and direct), etc. The challenge is the subconscious mind cannot differentiate between truth and falsehood, or reality and fiction (imagined). It assumes everything it is fed as truth - raw material to go to work with.
"Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives." (Robert Collier)
Have you ever thought something happened in your past that never did? It was something you dwelt so much on, either out of fear and worry or out of delightful fantasy. You dwelt so much on it, your subconscious mind recorded it as an actual event (occurrence) and produced in you the accompanying state (disposition) and history.

© 2017 Akin Akinbodunse


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