Thursday 23 September 2021

I Had to Die to Live.

“Nothing that you have not given away will ever be really yours.” — Clive Staples (C. S.) Lewis.

Now, this is a difficult one. A lot of people I know will say, "this is deep." Yet I see it proven in my daily walk and short pilgrimage. I am sure you see it also, for it is a universal principle and law. Just may be you have not noticed or rightly categorized it. Whatever you have not truly given away is not yours. It will forever elude you, especially when you want it most.

Whatever you have not given away, or cannot give away, has the mastery over your heart. It has you. You don't have it. It is your god. It controls you. It is outside you grasp. Whatever association it has with you is only temporal, not permanent. May be that is why the holy book says, "except a grain of wheat falls to the ground and die, it abide alone." 

Death is the birth of life. Life and Death are the "yin and yang" of nature. One cannot do without the other. One leads to the other. Until we die, we cannot truly live. For us to truly live we have to die. Twenty-five (25) years ago I had to break from a love relationship I had been pursuing for 11 years, as at then. I was young, stupid, and sincere, and pursued with all my heart.

Perhaps it never was because it became an idol for me. My friend possibly saw in me a desperation. The parting words she had for me were, "I was too good to a fault." I took and over looked a lot of fault of hers all in a bid for peace and her overture. She possibly saw a desperate person. She would have probably done more with one who responded to her shortcomings. That is my story.

I grew up a bit on the anxious side. Always careful not to miss it. May be that's the reason I was susceptible to depression. My lessons from these episodes include the fact nothing is worth dying for. You lose one, you gain another, even better one. That which is yours will never pass you by. If it does, it was not yours. Yours is coming. Wait. Nothing is worth being anxious or in a hurry for.

"Wilt thou set thine eyes upon that which is not? For riches [happiness, joy, wealth, health, life, etc.] certainly build themselves wings; they fly away as an eagle toward the heavens." [The Holy Book]
Carl Gustav Young puts it like this, "Hurry is not of the devil; hurry is the devil." Dallas Willard, adds, "Hurry I step greatest enemy of spiritual life in our day." 

Dallas Willard advice to us all is, "You must ruthlessly  eliminate hurry from your life." Don't get cut up in its web. 

St. Akin de Great.

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